Illusions.

Not understanding anything anymore. Live like a robot all the time. Just trying to do my job in this world. But what really is my life job? Inside of the body little girl cries. She wonders how much more time she has to wait for "happines". Will this waiting be for nothing at the end? Or maybe someone will throw a spell on me and then the princess on her unicorn will come for me. Shall we live in this illusion? Better then reallity I guess.

I dreamt about you today,
it was so magical
till your girlfriend came.

Pain and hope.

How does it feel to be alone in the bed at the night? Lonely, all by yourself. You've been so many times hurt that you don't even believe in love anymore. You are so afraid of commitment that
you push other people away when you detect something more than just sex.
I know that deep inside you, you're sick of sex without emotions and that you desire for love and something more. But you're just too afraid to do something about this. This fear is killing you.
Behind every bitch there is a story why is she like this. Like you have a story, like I do.
This system is so stupid. We wish it could be better, we wish we could have luck like those
people we see in the movies. In the reality life is just one big drama.
Trying to be optimistic and have hope it's all we can do 'cause hope dies last.
And if we lose hope, we will lose our mind.

End of boredom.

Today is the end of the hollidays.
On the one side its bad because I don't want to go back to this stressful school, but on the other side its cool 'cause it won't be so boring anymore.
Yesterday it was halloween. I should go to this party but this friend that we should go together got ill. I myself didn't really want to go there 'cause I was so excosted, so it was alright for me.
On the Saturday my lovely friend I was telling you about in the post before this one came to my town and had sleepover at my place. It was really fun and it was nice to see her after long time.
Today it was boring day and I was so nervous 'cause tomorrow is school and I will se her again. I'm not sure if I want to see her. Mixed feelings I guess...
I'm really excited about this singer La roux, she's so hot and I love her songs. The lyrics are so right!

Sleeping and love problems.

I should sleep now. Tomorrow is a big day. My lovely friend from the other side of country is coming for a sleepover. I just can't go to sleep, I'm so afraid 'cause last nights I sleept so bad, I was trying like for 3 hour till I falled asleep. Shit.
But that won't make me down. Even if I'll feel like a shitty zombie at the morring, there still exist coffee. That will help me! Fucking positive. You know, today I watched Secret again. I

recommend it to all! It has a really good meaning.

My room is such a MESS! I sould clean up but I'm not in the mood to do this right now. Ooh, I hate this! Okay, It'll be better, I'll ask mum in the morrning, muahaha.
I try to hide it but in my head is alway her, I miss her so much. She's always in my dreams. And I don't know what to do...
I can't wait for school, its about time that I do something about it. I can't go on like this, I can't...

Can you feel a little love?

Holidays are such lonely boring days. I can't wait for tomorrow to go to the cinema with ex mates.
We're going to see this movie called Orphan. Its great but I'm felling a bit bad about it because I've supposed to see this movie with one girl and she's now in the hospital, which is terrible.
I feel so bad 'cause I though I'll finily have some love in my life and now I'll have to wait again. But it's okay I suppose, I waited this long and it won't hurt me to wait a little time more. I only hope it'll be worth of my waiting.

Today I also realized how I love colour red, with every day more. Seems like its going to classified on the top with green and blue. I decided to change my blog colour to red, yummy! And now I found this picture of the beautiful sea and sky. Sky is red, sea is blue and and the bottom of the sea is green. All my favorite!<3

See? How beautiful it is. Its so dreamy, ah...

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But I'm not the only one
I hope someday you'll join us
And the world will be as one

Empty soul.

Don't play with people.

You never know who secretly loves you.

Boring day.
With school we've gone to the cinema. I expect some really interesting movie. Of course I was dissapointed. It was "movie"about our profession. It sucked. But okay, at least we don't have education this week. Other four days we supposed to draw and produce some things. It should be ineteresting. I'll let you know.
When I got home I remembered of some acter named Mia Kirshner. She plays really good! My favorite one and she's very beautiful too. See it for yourself:

Dreamy ignorance.

Could somebody tell me why those mean anti people have to exist? They're so annoying and they bother me when I want to do something without their stupid comments. People like some of my class mates and girls who think they can fuck with everybodys heads. So stupid. And then it makes me cold and bitch 'cause I just ignore those weird humans. Ah, whatever.
It was morning, in school. I had free hour and I talked to this nice girl from my school. I like her, she seems like she has a good personality and she's good-looking too. But I like another girl too. I look at her but she just don't see me. Seems like she's all the time so dreamy and in her world. Or she's ignoring me, but I doubt this. Sometimes it makes me so mad that I would just go to her and scream to her: " Wake up! Look at me, here I am!" Of course I'm too shy to do that. Maybe one day I'll have more courage and I'll go and talk to her. We'll see. And yeah, I know I'm complicated, but what can I do; I just like more girl.
I hope that she'll see me someday...

I've been watching your world from afar
I've been trying to be where you are
And I've been secretly falling apart
Unseen
To me, you're strane and you're beautiful
You'd be so perfect with me
But you just can't see
You turn every head but you don't see me...

Shitty cold days.

Get out of the car, and don't try and stop me
Stay where you are, 'cause there you can't hurt me
You took things too far, and I don't deserve this.

I'm sorry 'cause I didn't write those two days but I was so busy and at night I was so sleepy that I couldn't do it.
Its so fucking cold those days, I'm freezing. And in those days a human just wishes that he'll have someone that could keep you warm in his arms... You know how it is. Sucks. Okay, I'm being such an emo right now, I better stop.
I have to write seminar about fashion for tomorrow and I'm so not in the mood to do this now. I would rather just go to sleep. This school is killing me, but I keep trying to be optimistic. Yeah, I know that I don't look like it according to my writing here. But in real I am or I try to be. Here is different. Here I write all my feelings I keep in myself 'cause I can only write this. I don't won't to get people in bad mood just because I feel shitty inside. It will be better some day I keep telling myself.

Don't try and call, Im not going to answer
I'm not going to fall for another disaster
That you put me through, and I don't deserve this
No I don't deserve this.

Music matters.

I searched on myspace and I found a histroy of my playlist. The songs I almost forgot but I'm glad I found them now 'cause they are really good. At the end of this blog I will post some lyrics.
I had to write some special font that we have to know for lesson fashion design. Its called architectural writing and its like that:

For now it was really easy I hope that teacher won't complicate too much.

For all those for whom money was no motive
For all those for whom music was a message
I want to thank you
For making me
a little more sure
a little more wise
and courageous
You told me to look much more
You told me to walk much more
You told me that music matters.

A photograph is a portrait painted by the sun.

Saturday. Finally I had time to sleep! I've slept almost all day. Then me, my parents and family friends have had a picnic. We've ate chestnuts. It was really yummy. There were some cats and I cuddle them. Oh, I just love cats, they are so cute and soft. They had dog too. I love cats and dogs but I'm more a cat person. I dream that when I'll have my own house I'll have a lot of cats.
Anyway, when I got home I didn't do nothing special. I watched TV and then I have been on the computer watchin' some really good photos. They're not ordinary, they're so artistic and so special. That's my opinion. Here are some photos that I really like:

So what's your opinion?

Sleepyhead

So here I am again writing my blog. My dreams today were different.
Guess what? I dreamed about school! About my ex teacher for math and she said in my dreams
that I will never make school at all. What the fuck? This is really strange. She actually liked me in real. So I woke up with some really bad pains in my stomach. I blame it on those cookies that I eated them really late last night. Just too much for me I guess. Because of this it was really hard for me to wake up. I almost missed my bus and my father have to catched it with his car. I looked just like zombie and I decided that I won't go anywhere tonight and I will get some really good sleep.
School was nothing special today, I hardly focus on substance because of my sleepiness. After school I went to Čajnica again. I meet with my lovely friend U. We talked a lot and that was good because usually we don't have anything to talk about.
She asked me if I would like to posture for her because she have this idea for her photo club which I can't tell you. I promise her I won't tell anyone and a promise is a promise. So I was a little surprised at first because she said I would have to be naked. And that is bothering me a little bit... I said to her that I will think about it.
I supposed to go to dance today but I changed my mind. I'm just too tired and sleepy. All I would need now is cuddling with my lovely one and to fall asleep in her hug. I wish someday this would be true. If only...



"O bed! O bed! delicious bed!
That heaven upon earth to the weary head."

Lady with high heels hates you.

Today was just another good day. I afford myself a sleepy day.

I didn't go to school for the first three hours. I was sleeping and once again I had dreams about sex. What is wrong with me? Strange, those days my dreams are only about this. Maybe something will happen soon? Who knows, let's leave it to surprise. Anyway, I skipped the first two lessons of sport and one lesson of English. I missed one bus and because of that I was in the school for three hours of drawing only!. My favorite subject. I just love it! After school me and my two friends, Anja and Grega, went to our special local named Čajnica, which means Tea. Grega really surprised me when he suddenly said: "Oh my god, Klavdija I can't believe how much beautiful you get with each day!" That was really nice from him. My friends are great! When we were sitting and watching people walking by I started to think how much I hate this girl, lets call her S. Beautiful but bitchy. Yestarday she invited me to that concert and I supposed to sleepover at her place. When I got home I sent her a message if she really doesn't mind if I sleep in here place. She responsed with this longe messege that she's really sorry 'cause she can't because of her sister and she probably won't sleep in her place neither and pronounced like that. If you ask me, she made this all out because she's just mean and she's playing with me. This is not the first time that she did that and I won't let her do it again! She can fuck herself 'cause I'm not a fool who will play her games. There are other girls who are beautiful and have a personality, which S doesn't have. That's what I think. If she'll try to mess with me like that again I swear I'll throw her my high heeled shoes in her head. Then we'll see who'll be laughing. And now I will go to sleep... into my wet dreams again? Who knows, I will let you know later!

I'm going to blossom into a beautiful flower.